LEGENDS BALL PART III
By Andrew McCarthy
(NOVEMBER 2002)


“Do not smoke cigarettes, weed, or crack here.” I knew the night of November 23, 2002 would be memorable when I heard those words upon entering a smokey, super-packed YWCA hall in Brooklyn, NY. The third installment of the Legends Ball had just begun, and everyone was lit up, despite posted signs indicating that anyone who was caught smoking would be thrown out. The ball started relatively on-time, which was thoughtful, given its 78 categories, of which, several were skipped, or had few or no entrants. Many local houses seemed to be absent; their positions filled by many out-of-towners. Celebrity sightings included Tachina Ebony (Pam on “Martin”), Lisa Ray, and Patricia Field, who sat between Michael Dupree and David Ultima on the first panel of judges.

The categories were arranged in order of status, with statements and stars preceding legends. The drama was equally precipitous, and what follows are the highlights. The ball was put together by Andre Givenchy, Tony Revlon, and their respective houses. With Eric Bazaar deceased, and Selvin Movado only quietly attending, Jack Givenchy was the solo commentator. On the mic, Jack is accomplished in areas of crowd control and maintaining forward motion through categories. This ball presented numerous challenges, the most considerable being the size of the audience and their intuitive gravitation towards the narrow runway, which required frequent clearing. About a one-and-a-half thousand people (maybe more) showed up, and the hall seemed quite full; this meant much dinero for the ball promoters since admission was $30.

The categories are open: “Bring it!” demanded the physical finesse of Roxy Latex in the first noteworthy category, Butch Queen in Drags Performance: Vogue Femme. As her name was chanted by supporters, she spun her demure frame past opponents and onto victory. “In the name of Tyrell Ebony, Julian Mugler; in the name of the legends...” Jack Givenchy announced that light and lovely Luna Blahnik had sat down the House of Rodeo's structure and contour child to earn a trophy (a plaque) for Butch Queen Face with Performance. Dre Givenchy beat no one to win Butch Vogue and Lisa Ebony gracefully served her sisters victoriously in Women's Runway amid much fanfare. Butch Queen Vogue Femme had about 20 voguers and was resultingly hotter than the Drags Performance category, although it was plagued with multiple interruptions: to clear the floor of spectators, to change judges, and to distribute awards. The momentum was killed and most viewers, including me, lost track of the outcome. Things only got worse.

About 30 boys aspired to appear straight and entered Butch Queen Realness: Schoolboy v. Thug. Most wanted to be thugs, since that stereotype requires fewer props (a cigarette instead of a Jansport full of books and a desk), and gets more audience props than does a “soft” schoolboy. In total, about four got 10s and a Milan thug was ruled the hardest. Here, Tony Revlon began his first dispute, with R. R. Chanel, perhaps about boys the two of them were presenting. R. R. should be presented with a congeniality award, since he demonstrated over and again his desire to be fair. He was heard to be expressing his genuine intentions to resolve any perceived misinterpretations of the words exchanged between himself and Tony. Father Revlon acted out more severely during Butch Queen Face in All Black, a $200 Grand Prize category that carried longer than did Butch Queen Vogue Femme. It was similarly undermined by frequent interruptions to ask audience members to back off of the runway, by debates over judges' scores, and a scandalous altercation between Tony Revlon and Jack Givenchy.

Fine boys with 10s from the houses of Milan, Givenchy, Aphrodite, and Balenciaga stood by as Joey Karan from Philly scored his 10s. Then, a child was then chopped, and Tony Revlon thought it was shady. Jack Givenchy, visibly frustrated by the many delays, reminded us all that “this ball has been shady since the start” and that had he not been prevented from doing his job, he “could have finished 10 categories in 30 minutes.” Tony started to come for Jack and the two snaked through the gagging audience, all the way to the back of the hall. “Don't do me Tony! Don't do me!” warned Jack. Everyone anticipated a fight. A mob of guys eventually separated them and an exhilarated Tony Revlon passed out. I gather that neither struck the other, but it was obvious that Tony Revlon was the physical antagonist. A man drew a gun, no thanks to security, and he was escorted outside. Stuart Ebony and Andre Givenchy took turns trying to restore order. Andre wisely pointed out that “the cops could be here any minute.” Any stunt queen worth her craft would come together rather than wind up in a grand march to the police station around the corner.

Jack resumed his commentary: “I'da whipped the bitch's ass” while Tony rested her nerves in a seat across the room. Jack, perhaps disappointed by not being defended from Tony by Andre Givenchy, fiercely declared “I'm Jack Motherfucking Mizrahi and I have no allegiance to any house!” The word is that he renounced his membership in the House of Givenchy right then and there. At press time, Glitter was unable to confirm this, so let me fill you in on the rest of the drama that we can confirm. The disrupted Butch Queen Face category offered three trophies. The “light” trophy went to a houseless child. Medium “brown” was won by a Mugler, and the dark trophy was not given out. The dark-skinned kids were not deemed dark and lovely enough; they were considered only dark and aight. Butch Queen Runway in Skirts and Hats featured Arbert Latex, R.R. Chanel, and Allure, Koran, Balenciaga, and Ebony pumpers sporting intricate ensembles. The presentations were fierce, but were crushed by a grey and white feather- and fur-adorned Prodigy, who collected the $200 grand prize.

By 5 a.m., we'd arrived at the moment all of those southern pageant queens hustled their way up north for: Femme Queen Figure Face. This was a body and face $200 grand prize category for which all entrants had to serve not only curves and cara, but match hair and footwear to a solid garment color. The legendary Edie Milan set it off as she slithered down the crowd-covered floor in a black mesh chemise. She got chopped, and her spot before the judges was filled by Mother Chanel. Chanel wore short, white spiky hair and a distressed, thick fringe-embellished top and bottom combo. A roar emanated from the rear of the theatre as a red-dressed femme queen pushed through an ever-thickening floor to make her way towards the stage. Selvin Movado appeared and pumped her on the mic: “the Legendary, Icon Mother Miyake Mugler.” Stasha Stanchez Miyake Mugler's red version of Mother Chanel's wig pierced the air louder than all of the yelling and clapping her entrance produced. A translucent, red-striped mesh dress was wrapped tightly around her barely-concealed svelte frame. Stasha was sitting untold, and Mother Chanel couldn't eat all of the beauty she was being served. The judges let Chanel know that she had to go.

Then came Raquell Lord Balenciaga, smiling radiantly, boasting black feather angel wings and a black mesh babydoll. Beneath were lace panties and bra with knee-high black boots. Mother Jasmine Milan displaced her with golden tresses and golden fabric that stretched down from her neck and covered her nipples. A thong made of the same cloth rested above her generous hips. Milan offered a more aggressive sexual image and slew Raquell, leaving her to face off against Mother Miyake Mugler. An excited audience heightened the drama, chanting names and crowding the two mothers to the point that they were lost in a sea of hands raised in furious praise. The Milan table was right in front of the judges, and they were climbing all over their mother. Stasha shed her wrap to reveal a matching unitard as four judges voted for her, and four for Milan. The volatile energy intensified. The music was cut and Andre Givenchy was called upon to break the tie.

Meanwhile, a man near the Milan table had been arguing with judge Saniyah Ebony (perhaps about her judgement of Jasmin Milan, which I do not recall). He caused it by throwing a drink at Saniyah, dousing her hair, face, and torso with fluids. She responded by throwing back at him anything she could grab from atop the table. All hell broke loose.

I stuffed my camera into my purse as I ran off of the packed stage into over-turned tables and chairs, steering screaming femme queens in stilettos to the exit near D.J. Carlton. I lost sight of Saniyah and her assailant as I gained access to the street. The chaos dissipated and the ball continued, despite lingering apprehensions. The riot seemed like yet another tactic to avoid dispensing the relatively small $200 cash prize. But Mugler and Milan were located and judgment was cast: Mother Jasmine Milan's voluptuousness was not powerful enough to slay slender Stasha Mugler's pageantry realness. Livid and cursing, a ruling Stasha pumped back into the crowd as four cops cautiously entered the hall. 5-0 were out-numbered by the audience and visibly confused as male sex sirens in red devil horns and minimal genital coverings assembled at the head of the runway. The prize went to the House of Mugler, and Stacy Milan won Femme Queen Sex Siren. The cops could have easily shut down the ball due to over-crowding alone, but opted instead just to leave.

Bazaar Runway featured the imaginative creations of R. R. Chanel, Wally Infiniti, and Father Infiniti, but their competition was overshadowed by the Saniyah Ebony attack and ensuing brawl. The place was still a mess as the Butch Queen Vogue New Way battles began. Ebony, Prodigy, Balenciaga, Koran, and Infiniti Voguers served each other synchronized spins and dips to “the Ha Dance,” but the post-melee fallout and the crowding of the contestants proved too distracting; it became impossible to follow.

Women's Face followed, and a youthful-appearing Tiffany Givenchy lost to an ovah Jamie Balenciaga, who also snatched in an uncontested labels category. In Big Girls Femme Queen Sex Siren, Kelly Givenchy came back to contest her chop, but the judges didn't see her the second time either. All I saw was the 6:20 a.m. B63 bus coming down Atlantic Avenue to take me home. The ball trudged through one more grand prize category before another fight erupted. The ball was ended with three grand prize categories to go.

After the facade of legendary status was stripped of beauty and talent, the hostilities that plagued this ball drove a number of its participants to fight over crumbs of power and recognition much the way crackheads scurry around for rocks. Be legendary: “Do not smoke cigarettes, weed, or crack here.”


© 2002 Andrew McCarthy.